And So It Will Be

With all of its Pros and Cons, it looks as though I will be resigning from my 13 year position come Monday. I have been on vacation this passed week & tried unsuccessfully to find a new care provider for my 3 amazing children. I am both anxious and excited about beginning this new chapter in life. I feel relieved to have a final decision at hand, but very nervous about calling my boss on Monday to give them the news. I have yet to tell my children....although Isaiah, with his smart self, has pretty much figured it out and has hinted at that fact with the questions he has been asking. Dominique is the one that will be excited beyond words at having mommy stay home with him....We worked this week learning different preschool concepts & I am simply amazed at how smart he really is....come to find out, I did have the most amazing babysitter ever & she has worked with him on so much, that he even properly named a hexagon (yeah...I know adults that couldn't do that!). I have to have faith that this is where I am intended to be....I mean it HAS been a silent prayer every Sunday that I better see God's intended path for me...Perhaps God finally caught on that subtle hinting isn't my strong suit & he just made it impossbile to find somebody willing to care for my boys....I mean, in this economy it should have been EASY to find somebody wanting to make an extra $25o a week caring for boys that practically watch themselves. I smile as I think about it. This last week I have smiled and laughed more than I have in a long time. I have started seeing the magic in the little moments...something I used to do so well, but have missed over the last year. Like just now, as I type, my 2 older boys commented about how I look more pretty when I have my scarf and glasses on...that it doesn't matter what the rest of my clothes look like, when I have those two things on, I am automatically more pretty....what amazing little hearts (especially since I made the scarf myself & feel like such a dork in my glasses!). Earlier this week, Dominique, Vince & I organized our play room...and as Dom and I put all the cars in the car bin and all the trains in the train bin, Vincey grabbed them all out and threw them back onto the floor.....Exasperated, I told Vincey he wasn't being very nice & he had to say sorry to Dom for making this so difficult for him...Dom, very seriously, looks at me and says 'its ok mommy...he doesn't know that word yet, and he isn't doing it on purpose, so he doesn't need to say sorry'....these moments are the ones that I live for...the ones that make being a mommy the absolute best job in the world.....the ones that make me so certain that this new path is where I am intended to travel....at least for a little while. When things get difficult or i doubt myself, which I am sure will happen at least 1 minute out of every 10, I will smile.... just until I mean it ;)